‘America’s image overseas is tarnished like a ninja robot.’

Can’t wait to hear President Barry’s speech tomorrow afternoon? Why not write your own by plugging random words into this handy Inaugural Address Generator. Ours produced this:

My fellow Americans, today is a gnarly day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "blancmange", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually fondle.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces throbbing and dripping challenges like never before. Our economy is disturbing. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for flying monkeys. Our healthcare system is warm. If your buttock is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a fruiterer. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a ninja robot. But Rickrolling together we can right this ship, and set a course for my bed.

Finally, I must thank my cheeky family, my unctuous campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank The Illuminati for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of frotting the American people. Without your dreadful efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Can you come up with anything better?